Lock Up That Refrigerator! Lock Those Kitchen Cupboards!

Locking refrigerator provides solutions!

Do you have a maid, or unwanted extended-family member in your home, who is taking advantage of you bysneaking into the refrigerator (or kitchen cupboards) and eating up your family’s long-saved, or expensive stocked-up treats, without asking?

Here is the Middle Eastern solution–buy a locking refrigerator, and keep your cupboards locked.

Locking Kitchen Cupboards

Of course, if you have a kitchen maid doing the cooking, and she is the one doing the sneaky eating of special treats, then you’re out of luck.  Some expats have the additional problem of all the leftovers “disappearing,” doubling the food bill, and leaving you without food when you are expecting it.  Some Middle Easterners have told me that locking cupboards and refrigerators keep children’s eating under control, as well.

That said, many more ordinary refrigerators (without locks) are for sale than those with locks.  So while locking refrigerators are available, they don’t seem to be the bestsellers.

–Expat 21

Most Expats Encounter Foreign Regulations Regarding Naming of Their Children

Guy White wrote a post wondering why Muslims in America continue to name their children with foreign-sounding names, and don’t choose “normal” American names.  An explanation of this subject requires a full post.

It is only from my experience of living abroad, and having an American child abroad, that I discovered that many countries (maybe even the majority of countries) do not permit parents to name their children whatever they want.  In our case, we had one American parent, and one North African Muslim parent.

There are several reasons for “government-approved” lists of names.

The first (and most important) reason is that a name identifies one religion.  A Muslim name identifes one as a Muslim to other Muslims.  It was only after living several years in the Middle East that I realized what the term “Christian name” meant.  It clearly identifies one as a “Christian.”  This has now commonly become the “first name.”   But until perhaps the 1970’s, when organized Christian religion began to fall out of favor in many Western countries, the “Christian” name identified one as being either a Christian or from a Christian background, particularly to those from non-Christian backgrounds.  This IS STILL the case, even if we as Westerners no longer recognize that in our own cultures.  It is only within the past 30 years that it’s become acceptable to choose names from many faiths and nationalites, in the West, without respect to one’s religion.

Christian Names

My husband and I chose a name for our daughter which we created from a combination of a Musim and Christian name.  When my husband went to register the birth (our family living in my husband’s North African country) we discovered that this name wasn’t “permitted.”  They told him to “take off” the Christian portion of  the name.  My husband responded that he didn’t believe there was an “approved” list, thinking they just wanted money.  They actually went in the back room and brought out a copy of the regulation and showed him that there was an actual list of approved names.  At this point, I was so upset that my plan was to take my daughter back to America, change her name legally there, and then come back and change it here.  But then I discovered that they would NOT change her name here in the “family book” (a legal document recording births and deaths), and would just record it here as they wished.  In the end, we got a well-known and respected person to make an “intercession” for us with the naming bureau, and my daughter’s name was permitted.

The second reason for a “government-approved” name list is to prevent children from naming their children “undignified” names such as the names of current soap-opera stars, or “unIslamic” names.  A Muslim child MUST have a Muslim name (according to Islam).  Muslim governments (in order to maintain their legitimacy in the eyes of their people) must be seen to uphold Islamic religous laws, such as insisting that all Muslim children have Muslim names.  (A child of two foreign Christians would not be required to take a Muslim name.)  The way many expats in dual-nationality, dual-religion marriages handle this problem is to choose a name which is acceptable in both cultures and religions, such as Adam, or Maryam (the two most common choices).

The third reason for a “government-approved” name list is to control political dissent.  Within many countries, there are different ethnic groups, some of which even have their own local languages and local names.  To a native of a particular country, giving someone one of these ethnic names can be an act of defiance, on par with promoting civil strife.  Government-approved name lists help prevent this sort of thing from happening in many countries.

The laws of all Muslim countries require that if one parent is Muslim, then the child must be Muslim.  (If only one parent is Muslim it will be the father, because a Muslim woman is not permitted to marry a non-Muslim man.  The reason behind this is that under Islam, it is assumed that the father is the head of the family, and the natural order of things is for the rest of the family to follow the father’s religion.)

Returning to Guy White’s original question as to why Muslims in America would continue to choose Islamic names for their children, there are several reasons.

First, even though the children born are considered American citizens by America, other countries often continue to claim the children as citizens for at least one generation, and often two generations (Greece, for example).  Unless the parents have actually RENOUNCED their citizenship in the foreign country, they are most likely to have to register the birth of their child with their own embassy in order to obtain the correct legal documents for their child.  If they are from a Muslim country and are Muslim themselves, any other sort of name would not be accepted either by their country, or by their family back home–it would cause their entire family to be ostracised.  Not having the correct documents for the child’s name would mean that should they ever return home, the child would not even be allowed to enter school, and would be a non-person in terms of not being able to obtain a residence card, sign documents, rent an apartment, etc.  (Other countries give far more importance to legal document procedures than America does, and documents are extremely difficult  both to get, and to replace.)

HERE is a short article explaining that while the Dutch government wants to drop the Moroccan name list in Dutch-Moroccan official registration, Morocco indicates that doing so will cause many inheritance and travel-related problems throughout the lifetimes of the children who are involved.

Secondly, as a Muslim, it is a religious requirement to have a Muslim name.  This is also why if a non-Muslim converts to Islam he or she has to take a “Muslim” name.  If one tried to be a Muslim without a Muslim name, first of all, other Muslims would never believe he is Muslim.  Traveling in some countries, this could even be a safety issue.  In safe countries, one would simply be ostracized.  This also answers the question as to why black Americans who convert to Islam, or who are Muslim choose Muslim names for their children.  As to the more “creative” Muslim names (as opposed to “traditional” Muslim names) some of them are coming up with, these would never be recognized “Muslim” names in Muslim countries–the names would be viewed as “corruptions” of Islamic names.

Furthermore, if the foreign parents never planned to go back to the home country to live, but did choose to take their children back to the home country for a vacation to see relatives, EVERYONE would assume that children with a non-Muslim name HAD LEFT THE MUSLIM RELIGION.  Since this is NOT PERMITTED under Islam (particularly in Islamic countries) just the act of naming your child with a “normal” American name could actually jepardise both the child’s and entire family’s safety in the home country.

Third, Guy White wonders about the name Mohamed.  This is actually a very normal name.  This is the MOST common Muslim name, even in Muslim countries.  In a single class of school children, you will normally find about three Mohamed’s.  Nearly every family names one son Mohamed.  It’s no different than the Christian name Jesus.  While Jesus is not common in America (except among Catholic Hispanic immigrants) it is a well-known and very common name throughout Latin America and Catholic Christian countries.

My suggestion for Muslim immigrants to America, or in the West, who wish to remain Muslim, but who also wish to “fit in,” is to follow what the Christian expats married to Muslims, in Muslim countries do–choose a name such as Adam or Maryam which is better accepted without comment in both cultures.

I hope that this post has answered this important question for some people.

–Expat 21

Why Moderate Muslim Women Oppose Face Veils and Burquas

I read an article that discussed France being against permitting full face veils (with only small slits for eyes) and burquas (like rural Afghanistan).  Some commenters argued that society should accept anything the individual chooses to wear.

Interestingingly, this argument sounds a lot like the arguments students used to make in the 1960’s in America, when dress codes were finally “thrown out” of most public schools.  But it seems that now dress codes and even uniforms (in private schools) have come back in some locations.

Even when there is no dress code per se, there is a “normal” standard that people go by, in any society.  When that standard is violated, people normally judge your “social acceptability” by how far, and in what way, you violate that code.  The same thing is true in every society.

Readers might think that in a Muslim country that everyone would be in favor of supporting women who choose conservative Islamic dress for themselves.  But this is far from true. Those women in favor of this tend to be either younger women who are joining Wahabi-like  sects of Islam, or new foreign converts to Islam (in some cases), or women who have had social or emotional problems in their lives which they feel are “solved” by an extreme form of dress (according to Middle Eastern women).  These opinions are NOT MINE, but the opinions of numerous middle-aged Middle Eastern women who have shared them with me.

As Muslim women here have pointed out to me, many of them are against the full face veil and even more so against a costume like the Burqua BECAUSE of the potential for abuse of trust.  They say, “How do you know it is not a man under the costume?  How do you know it is not a terrorist?  How do you know who is actually taking an examination?”

All of these abuses can be avoided when the FACE is EXPOSED.  Even when doing the pilgrimage in Mecca, Saudi Arabia (a requirement of Islam for those who can afford to do it) the face is forbidden to be covered, even if one normally wears such a costume.  Conservative Islamic dress covers everything except the face and hands, but it does NOT need to cover the face, and it does NOT need to be black.

Nor are black socks and gloves required by Islam.  The Wahabi sect does promote those things, but the Koran does not say that the face, hands, and feet have to be covered in this manner.  These are all cultural and personal choices made by societies, or individuals.

Moderate but conservative MUSLIM women have pointed these reasons out to me  why THEY THEMSELVES object strongly to such extreme costumes, even though these are also seen on the streets of modern Muslim countries.

–Expat 21

Comparing Costs of Health Care Treatments in America, Britain, and France

I became an expat because my foreign husband wanted to move back to his home country in the Middle East.  He tried life in America for two years, and decided he preferred life back in his home country.

However, at the time in 1991, I was pregnant with my first child.  I lived in Denver, Colorado, in the United States.  At that time, we did not have any health insurance.  The cost at then of about ten prenatal visits over the course of the pregnancy, and one night uncomplicated delivery in the hospital in Denver was about $10,000.  So, we decided to move to the Middle East to have the baby.  Here, at that time, the cost for each specialist visit was about $10, and THREE nights in the hospital (and a vaccum extraction) was $500.

Swedish Hospital in Denver, Colorado

In the intervening years, I’ve seen many Americans all have their babies here, while most of my British acquaintances fly back to Britain where they can have their babies for free, using the National Health Service.

Recently one of my British friends suffered a broken arm in France from accidentally falling down some stairs.  She said the treatment was expensive in France at 2230 Euros.  The exact treatment was an operation to put in three pins and set the fracture, plus two nights in the hospital.

An American doctor friend of mine in Denver wrote back to me and said the same treatment in Denver would now be about $30,000 (that’s right, THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS…).

I find it amazing that so many Americans wonder WHY we need health care reform, and why there are so many more uninsured than before?  Minimal insurance is now $600 for a family of four with no pre-existing or unusual conditions…PER MONTH (according to my doctor friend in Denver), and that is with a pretty high deductible, and no/little prescription drug coverage.  I was one of those uninsured, before leaving America in 1993….it is one of the reasons I left when I did.  The country I live in now has a completely private system, just like the United States, but at least it’s still affordable.

I shared this information and the story of my friend who fell down the stairs with two British friends of mine, and here was there reaction:

First Friend:  Phew!!!! I think that if the UK population knew anything about this, then they wouldn’t complain at all about the National Health Service!

Second Friend:  Crazy prices in the US !   Just a broken bone could wipe out your savings ??? Very scary.

–Expat 21

New Egyptian Parking Invention

Watch the back end of this car to see how this invention works.  It looks like a similar device must also be on the front end of the car.  It appears to slightly lift the car, then the car is rolled into place.

Has anyone reading here actually seen one of these in action?  Too bad I don’t have one on my Mercedes…

–Expat 21

Can Hierarchical Languages Affect Airline Safety?

Author Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, has written a new book asserting that hierarchical languages can indeed greatly affect airline safety.  This and other interesting topics are covered in his new book Outliers.

I caught an interview with Malcom on CNN, in which he made this assertion.  He explained that English is an example of a non-hierarchical language, whereas Korean is an example of a hierarchical language.  The way I understood it, in a hierarchical language, one example might be that instead of having one word for “you,” there might be several, depending upon whether the person being spoken to was a boss or a maid, a man or a woman, a parent or a child.

subservience

Gladwell asserts that in hierarchical languages, that the language acutally gets in the way of communications, especially with regard to safety or emergency issues.  He says that his research showed a high correlation between airlines operating in hierarchical languages and poor safety (and the converse, as well, that those operating in low hierarchical languages had a much better safety record).

Gladwell says that Korean Air Lines had such a bad safety record it was about to be shut out of international airports.  So they brought in consultants and discovered this big communication problem.

Korean Air Jet

The result was they required all the pilots to speak English (a non-heirarchical language) and suddenly all of these problems disappeared.  Their safety record improved dramtically.  Gladwell attributes this to the language switch.

Quoted in Fortune, Gladwell says, “Korean culture is hierarchical. You are obliged to be deferential toward your elders and superiors in a way that would be unimaginable in the U.S.”

As I live overseas, I have not yet read Malcom’s book, but I intend to order it this week!

–Expat 21

America’s “Empire” – A Foreign View

Because Americans are taught from the time we are children that the “American Way” is the best in the world, and essentially that we are the world’s “saviors,” exporting a beacon of light and democracy to the rest of the world, many Americans are EXTREMELY SHOCKED when they go abroad to find that others just don’t view America that way at all!  (In fact, America is viewed as a big bully by much of the world.) 

“America is seen as a lawless nation, both financially and militarily,” according to Recycle Washington. “How else to characterize a nation that holds out a set of laws for others – on war, debt repament and treatment of prisoners – but ignores them itself?”

However, as an American who has  now lived abroad for 18 years, I was still extremely surprised to receive a letter yestereday from a friend in India which referred to America’s “empire.”  In America, one of the principles our country was founded upon, we are taught,  is to “stay away from empires and empire-building” as they were the downfall of many countries before our own!

Thus, my surprise at my friend’s view of America, from India, replying to me in our discussion over declining living standards in America, and the increasing gulf between rich and poor):

Civil War Confederate Dead

“It’s sad to see a country that went to war with itself over an issue like the abolition of slavery descend to such a level (economically).”

“It’s a real shame that a Republic that has (or rather had) such a wonderful constitution (with its Bill of Rights) that was designed to keep the government under the constant watch of the people has allowed itself to be sold out.”

“But I guess this was waiting to happen since America morphed from a nation state into an empire, which began with the end of America’s isolationist foreign policy. Had America not taken part in recent wars(completely unnecessary and wasteful), there is no doubt that it would have been a First World country with the highest standard of living for centuries to come. Sadly, it chose to go down the path of so many empires though it seems the Founding Fathers wanted to avoid precisely that.”

This morning I also came across an impressively-written  blog post on Recycle Washington referring to America’s “military and economic empire,”  causing me to reconsider my Indian friend’s view of America as an EMPIRE:

“Foreigners see the IMF, World Bank and World Trade Organization as Washington surrogates in a financial system backed by American military bases and aircraft carriers encircling the globe.”

Foreigners do not necessarily want to dismantle the American military and financial empire;  they simply want to find a solution for facilitating world trade in a way that does not involve the United States, NATO, or the U.S. dollar as a vehicle of that trade.

Chinese Central Bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan

In a June meeting in Yekaterinburg, Russia, “Central bank governnor Zhou Xiaochuan of the People’s Republic of China wrote an official statement on its website that the goal is now to create a reserve currency ‘that is disconnected from  individual nations.’ “

“Even without capital controls, the nations meeting at Yekaterinburg are taking steps to avoid being the unwilling recipients of yet more dollars….If China, Russia and their non-aligned allies have their way, the United States will no longer live off the savings of others (in the form of its own recycled dollars) nor have the money for unlimited military expenditures and adventures.”

The United States government’s  double-standard both militarily and economically is what upsets other countries the most. Most Americans at home are unaware of these double standards, and this is why they are shocked to find out other countries’ view of the United States when they go overseas.

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev says, “At the root of the global financial crisis is that the United States produces too little, while it spends too much.”

Economically, the U.S.’s ability to print unlimited numbers of dollars (which are depreciating in value internationally), while lowering interest rates and taxes contrasts with their requiring other countries to adhere to severe economic austerity measures.

Depreciating Dollars

“The United States tells debtor economies to sell off their public utilities and natural resources, raise their interest rates and increase taxes while gutting their social safety nets to squeeze out money to pay creditors,” according to Recycle Washington. “The United States is now the world’s largest debtor yet has avoided the pain of ’structural adjustments’ imposed on other debtor economies.  The U.S. interest-rate and tax reductions in the face of exploding trade and budget deficitis are seen as the height of hypocrisy  in view of the austerity programs that Washington forces on other countries via the IMF and other Washington vehicles.”

Particularly upsetting to other countries is the United States’ military spending, now accounting for half of U.S. government discretionary spending. Quoting Recycle Washington: “What this means in plain English is: We have reached our limit in subsidizing the United States’ military encirclement of Eurasia while also allowing the US to appropriate our exports, companies, stocks and real estate in exchange for paper money of questionable worth.”

Other countries now want out of the system which hooks them in to free markets, but requires them to accept declining-in-value U.S. paper money in exchange for their products.

When the gold standard was in effect, foreign governments could settle balance-of-payments questions in gold, thus keeping domestic budget deficits in check.

“The main political issue confronting the world’s central banks is therefore how to avoid adding yet more dollars to their reserves and thereby financing yet further US deficit spending – including military spending on their borders.”

“Foreigners see the IMF, World Bank and World Trade Organization as Washington surrogates in a financial system backed by American military bases and aircraft carriers encircling the globe. But this military domination is a vestige of an American empire no longer able to rule by economic strength.”

American Aircraft Carriers

“US military power is muscle-bound, based more on atomic weaponry and long-distance air strikes than on ground operations, which have become too politically unpopular to mount on any large scale…. The problem is how to constrain the United States’ behavior.”

If you would like to see the entire article on Recycle Washington, click HERE.  The blog writer indicates that his ideas came from the work of distinguished economist Dr. Michael Hudson, author of  Super-Imperialism: The Economic Strategy of American Empire and The Myth of Aid.

–Expat 21

Can New fMRI Technolgy Detect Liars in Foreign Business Situations?

Business expats in foreign lands have a great need to know if the people they are trying to do business with are honest.  Most people have enough trouble learning to judge the honesty of people in their home cultures, but the problem is greatly compounded when moving to a foreign culture, as subtle signals are both missed and often unknown

Companies now exist such as No Lie MRI in California and Cephos in Massachusetts, which claim to be able to detect liars using fMRI technology, which can monitor brain activity and blood flow in real time.  Could these be of use to expats, or expat businesses?

Time on-line has article about a brain scan experiment organized and carried out by Joshua Greene, a 35-year-old Harvard psychology researcher, who recently published his findings in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. He is trying to determine if monitored brain-wave activity can verify if a person is lying, is telling the truth honestly, or is telling the truth, but trying to resist lying.  In fMRI experiments with volunteers, the prefrontal-cortex activity was monitored for increases and decreases.

Harvard researcher Joshua Greene

Results seem to indicate the following:

1.)  Honest volunteers had relatively quiet minds, compared to lying volunteers;

2.)  Dishonest volunteer’ prefrontal cortices registered vigorous activity which persisted, whether they were lying or not.

3.)  Quoting Narayan, researcher Greene feels that “honesty is not about overcoming the temptation to lie, but about not having to deal with that temptation in the first place.”

4.)  “Within the dishonest group, we saw no basis for distinguishing lies from honest reports,” says Greene.

However, Times author  Adi Narayan reports, “Companies like No Lie MRI continue to advertise that they can detect lies with ‘90% accuracy’ and charge close to $5,000 for their services.”  Narayan contacted CEO Joel Huizenga, who claimed that ‘there are 30 different peer-reviewed studies claiming they can detect lies with fMRI,’  but says that Huizenga “declined to provide citations for those studies.”

Could  fMRI technology be useful in the future, if and when it is properly developed,  for overseas business deals?

It would have to overcome the additional problem of culture-based reaction and thinking.  Based on my experience as a two-decade expat, I suspect that if they were to run the same experiments on Third World volunteers where life is daily struggle, they would find vigorous activity in EVERYONE’s prefrontal cortexes.  This is because in the Third World, people would be trying to figure out what you or the researcher has to gain personally from a question or transaction;  a question would never be taken at face value; there is always a temptation to lie when you are uncertain of others’ motivations (see point three above.)  Therefore, this technology may only work well in the future for First World societies which have a fairly high level of trust already present in the society.

–Expat 21

A Nice Surprise!

I had a really nice surprise today in my email. There was a message saying I’d won an award as one of ten finalists (which means I came in at place 13)for Best Travel Blog 2009. (I’ve added the award into the sidebar on my home page.)

I didn’t enter any contest, but the notification indicated that their experts had combed through expat and travel blogs all over the world. It’s nice to know that people reading and appreciating the content!

Expat 21

Arabian Nights’ Teenage Parties in the Middle East

My daughter (age 15) was invited to a birthday party for a girl who was turning 14. This party was for two full days, including the night in between. The kids were invited for 10:30 in the morning; the party lasting all day, with a sleepover, and continuing all through the second day, with my daughter arriving home at about 6:00 the second evening.

Most kids were taken and brought back by family chauffeurs, most of whom drive black oversize four-wheel-drive vehicles. My daughter went with another friend from our neighborhood who was also invited, driven there and back by his chauffeur. (The photos in this post are actual pictures of where the party took place.)

The birthday girl’s parents own a small hotel, where the party was held the first day and night.  The kids had the total run of the place, from what my daughter tells me.

My daughter called me on the phone to say, “Mom, this is nicer than any hotel we’ve ever stayed in!”   Our family has had the opportunity to stay in some nice hotels.  She even described the breakfast spread as as even more impressive than some five-star hotel breakfast spreads.

Following the sleepover, the kids spent the entire next day at a water park. Here are some photos:

The water park features ten hectares of manicured gardens, and five restaurants and snack bars.

The park also features a pirate ship for children to climb on.

Wow, would I ever have LOVED to have gone to a party like this as a teenager!

I explained to my Middle Eastern husband that a party like this would be unheard of in America. Nearly every party in the Middle East lasts at least an entire day, or an entire night. Sometimes they last two or three days.  I explained to my husband that a birthday party might normally last three or four hours. Even for a slumber party, kids might arrive at 5:00 pm and be gone by 11:00 am the next morning.

I asked my husband why he thought every party in the Middle East went on for hours and hours. He replied, “People don’t have anything else to do.” More likely, they have servants and maids to take care of all the work people are doing in America, which is WHY they have so much free time on their hands. The particular parents who gave this party are actually European, but it was an extraordinary party by anyone’s standards. More like a party I would have expected in Hollywood……I just hope my daughter realizes how fortunate she is! She had a wonderful time.

I wonder how many other expats have experienced parties like this in the Middle East, or in other parts of the world?

–Expat 21